Over the mountains and the sea,
Your river runs with love for me,
and I will open up my heart
and let the Healer set me free.
I'm happy to be in the truth,
and I will daily lift my hands:
for I will always sing of when
Your love came down.

I could sing of Your love forever...

And so, this song really touched me today during NSt's worship session.
The past two weeks, related topics have been coming up. All unplanned for and I guess, God's reminding me to do what I promised to do.

There was a point where I reached to a level but no sooner did I pull back.
I guess, I'm still slowly learning and I long to allow healing to take place completely but I need to learn how let down my guard a little.

I trust my Mighty God, I don't entirely trust man.
But ultimately, am I going to allow myself to trust myself enough?
Enough to handle certain things and situations.

In order for God to work, I need to allow Him to do so.
And no matter what and when it happens, I know He is always ready and waiting for my response.

Time will tell, when I'll take that step and when that happens, I know for sure. That I have indeed overcome. I will rejoice for it is only in and through Him I am able to.

God's love is perfect love.
So real; that no words or pictures can describe.
So great; that none can comprehend.

Now, sometimes I just amaze myself in more ways than one. XD

I'm quite proud of myself actually. Being the first time ever having to write out a whole report of and on my own. I took one day to get my info and draft out my critical assessments. Another one day to type the whole freaking assignment out. Spent another one more editing i.e reconstructing, shortening and adding in diagrams and images.
Voila, printed and handed in. Still have one more day before the deadline, but I'm too lazy to drive all the way up there just to hand it in before 2pm. having to come back down by 4.

I'd say I'm pretty satisfied with my work despite starting erm, 5 days prior to the deadline. Though if not because I started last minute.. I'd definitely do much better and probably get much higher marks too. Not to mention, the word limit. If not, I would've gone quite a bit more.. and erm, have much more flower-ish grammatical sentences. If there is ever such thing.

Oh.. I'll get the most of the 45% marks allocated for this assignment.

OKAY. Self-praising and self-gratification moment over. heheheeee ;)

So, so soooo not a good idea to start late. Aish.
But, no matter what, I really thank God for His provision over me. =)

However, I'm doing what I always do to myself to stress myself out again.
By setting extremely high expectations and "nearly perfectionism" results/work of myself.
And when I've handed in the work, I'll always go.. crap. should've added this should've said it that way.

I'll never be satisfied.
Though, by the next day, I don't exactly bother anymore. Taking the outcomes as it is. haha

now, off to do my reflective text for the barometer. which by the way, deadline's in a few hours and I was given two weeks to fill it in. HarDeeHarrr

PARENTAL ADVISE : Children are strongly encouraged to not follow these actions at home or anywhere in general as it is highly probable to jeopardise yours' and their future.

yes, i'm making pathetic attempts to amuse myself

Just like every other person doing their assignment. The problem is not having insufficient words to reach the limit but instead, I've to figure out how to cut my report short. Blerghhh.

Never have I spent this much time on a computer everyday.
Gotta start getting used to being on the comp for HOURS everyday. =.=
Gotta start loving technology and its uses more.

But no matter how advance technology is and continues to be, I always somehow will go back to the basic pen and paper. =) Can't live without 'em.

Extremely productive unproductive Thursday day it was.

I was awake till 4am on Wed doing things I should and shouldn't be doing. Went to sleep after that having to wake up for an appointment at 10.30. Initial plan was to go home and shower after the app and errands and head over to the Library to do my assignments and such. BUT me, being me, decided to change her mind last min. Seeing no one was home again, went to ta-pau lunch at Seputeh whilst her mind battles as to go or not. Ended up staying at home instead. Also cause it was going to rain and that I'd just waste more time on travelling and getting settled and not staying there till late cause of not wanting to drive back late. =s And ultimate fact that it wouldn't be as comfortable. hehe..

SO, I was honestly going to start on writing out my assignment but got distracted with playing games for an hour. Finally started on my work. Couple of hours later, wanted to take a short nap cause of the rain and my mind trying to excuse herself from work but ended up going downstairs thanks to the dog "dragging her paw up and down, spoiling the wooden front door" due to thunder and ended up in front of the T.V.! For two hours and then was gonna go back up then suddenly I just had to pop the Gangs of New York into the DVD player and wasted another 2 hours plus and more TV after that. Argh, temptations of the father who just came home wanting to watch something before going for cell. And to think he wanted to watch The Godfather 2 which I didn't want cause it's really long and he's gotta go off which I would've def end up wasting even more time watching it. Sure, thought I'd stop watching when it was time for him to go since I watched it before, but no..again. Had to finish watching it.
Noticed I didn't mention dinner? Cause there was literally nothing to eat at home that was already cooked and I was too lazy to cook something up or to go out and eat. Just see how lazy I can be???

Therefore, my initial plan of hoping over to the library and spend my hours on finishing my essay ended up to be quarter the hours spent on work and the rest on entertainment. The perks and disasters of being at home, what more alone is having the quiet and comfort but too much. And no pressure to get back to work. If only the mother was home early and she'd at least ask what I did the whole day much sooner then I'd at least go back to work. Instead came home at 11, saw me watching tv and started chatting away. Probably thought I did A LOT of studying when I mentioned I was doing my work today. Way too much distraction at home! My allocated max rest time of 2 hours plus became, erm, 8 hrs in total. See, I even came to blog instead of working on my essay!

Next time, I ought to just stick to not staying home when it comes to studying and work. Could've finished up my assignment already. Pfffft..

If you actually read finish my purposely elongated crappy overly descriptive rant. You must really have a lot of time and is bored OR you must really want to know about my life happenings. Either way, congratulations! HAHAH!

It's 2.30 a.m. As usual am not feeling sleepy yet and I've class at 10 till bout 5 ish.

Pffft. I absolutely dislike it when people change or set my settings for me as if it's their own computer without asking me for my permission or neither did I ask them to..

For example, those pop up msgs, alerts or something. There's a reason why I want them to pop out... and then after I mentioned it.. the person still has the guts to say, 'what for? it's the same msg every time and it's annoying.' At least have the courtesy to apologize. GARH. I'm ok with it if they can be set back to the original. But, what's worse is that some of these cannot be changed back, like those where you tick "do not show this msg again" box. (unless is there's a way that I'm unaware of)

I give u a smack alright. Then you shall turn the other cheek and might as well let me smack that side too.

As small this matter may be. It's not that I'm making a big fuss out of the changes made. Infact, I couldn't bother so much of the changes already been done. It's just that I find that "making the self-decisions as if your own belonging" act an extremely selfish and rude thing to do.

EDIT:
Gosh, what has happened to moral and manners?

AND.....

If only I could easily write that much for my assignments in such a short time like my post below.

sheeshh.

there I go.. another excuse for my procrastinated slack. woah, double power!

I suddenly can't think of that right word for a double powered emphasis on something.. like procrastinated slack.. And I never do end with the excuses do I?

Seriously, I'm off to continue on my research. BYE! wish, No, PRAY that I seriously buck up! ASAP!! ;) THANK YOU with a huge loving HUG! XD

Okay. For real this time... Till another time.

And so.. it's been nearly a month since I last blogged. And frankly speaking, I've either:

1. Had something I wanted to share, but just never got to penning it down
2. I've been swamped with lotsa things to do
3. I'm just plain lazy to blog

Updates:

Firstly,
I've fallen sick. Twice in a row. And to think that I was just telling someone that I had not been ill for 2 years already. Which is something new, cause I remember that during my high school years, or at least the second half of it, I would, without fail, definitely catch the same virus twice a year, constant timing which were always between the period of my mid terms or after. And the second would be towards the end of the year, in November. After Form 5, I was healthy to the brink! So, last week was either a mild case of stomach flu or food poisoning. Then on Monday, I got the whole cough and fever thing. Despite my attempt to pamper it before the inflammation started, it back fired. Instead of soothing it down, it was aggravated. So much for that 2 hot honey lemon the night before which was just part of the "regime".

Though I must mention this that I somehow feel much more smarter when I'm sick. Well, not smarter, but that my memory power and brain capacity's much better. Haha. Sounds quite unreasonable right! ;)


Secondly,
I've been swamped with so much work and so little time. With the whole church thing, some extra job thing I promised a friend and university work.
What's bugging me is that having been under the 100% based examination education lifestyle, and the sudden switch to having to do really long assignments. I'm so not used to the whole research, compiling, referencing bla bla bla thing. I've been really putting off on starting my assignments which some counts for my entire marks. I feel so alienated by it. At first, I thought how hard can these subjects be, cause the subject title seemed really simple, like Computers in Business. I thought simple lah, just basic computer stuffs(i.e. Ms Excel, Web strategy and all those thingamajiggy) which I already do know about. Then comes out the bidding Case Study Report and suddenly hearing foreign abbreviations of the "cyber, computer etc... ( I also don't know what to call them)"

Three 3000 words, one 1500, two group assignments which both requires a lot of things that I've never touched or learnt on in my entire life. Having to come up with a poster design, and learning how to create our own bidding proposal plan with a whole exhibition layout and guide to think of. On a freaking topic that makes zero sense to me! haha. Okay, it's not THAT bad. Just something I've very minimal knowledge on. And later present. =.=

Best part is their all due extremely soon. One's due in a weeks' time. T.T


Thirdly,
Lately, I've been having this attitude of really not wanting to get involved or being part of something that I should continue going for. And even not wanting to socialize so much with them. Somehow, I think I've been somewhat avoiding talking to them when I really don't want to. Not that I don't like them or anything. I just somehow want to isolate myself from them.. I think it's partly due to feeling "guilty" of not going. BAD, but I don't know why I feel this way. I think I need to start going again so that I'll get over this self proclaimed "rebellious phase".


Okay. That's it. Today's post is filled with a lot of words of rambling. Just for the sake of an update!
Till the next time when I feel, smart and inspired. And not lazy


Ooh, I've gotten slightly darker now(or at least I'd like to think I have), which.. I like! hahaa..(if you remember reading one of my later post where I mentioned bout me liking to be dark/tanned skinned.) Thanks to last Saturday. Had a nice time of "basking" in the sun at the zoo(okay, I know that somehow sounds like I was one of the animals lazing in the sun. LOL) with the kids from Prima and Sentul. Even got a slight sunburn, which I didn't realize till the next day. Guess I should've slabbed on a thicker layer of sunscreen! It was a fun time. Sure was. Gonna miss 'em kids and it'll be a couple of months more till I start seeing them again.