single and unavailable

i'm just here to make a clarification.

i don't have someone special. nor do i like anyone at the moment.
and i intend to keep it that way. till i erh, dunno la. it'll happen. i think. hehe

and stop asking me if there's anyone who likes me. even if there is and it's so obvious and even if i know i always buat tak tau.
so yea, i'll continue to act dumb and blur. unless if that someone makes me feel different and also must have the connection. basically if he stands out. that is a whole different ball game. till then ;)

why? cause i'm happy with the way things are now.

why so sudden? cos, it is said that some of my postings sounds like i've got someone. and ppl keep bugging me to go intro to them. cheh. mengacau aje.

some of them is just me being emo, some is really for that "you" because someone did brighten up my day. others is just me emo-ing. really.


i just realized that i don't have any criteria list.
maybe i should start thinking properly. and start erh being serious in relationships..
cos apparently, i'm old already. must start thinking. cissss.
say ppl, but you yourself should be the one to start. hehe you know who you are. ;)



okay. now that's off. now for the random part.. laadeeedumdum

friendster is super poyo but then everyone uses it.
i even remember myself saying that in 2003. ciss. heheh
oh well, at least it's not lagging or hanging orwhatever bullll like it used to.
the only thing that really annoys me now is all those fwd msgs flooding my inbox. annoying sial


till the next time.

weird

ok ok. i know. i'm glued to the comp today. teehee.

i was just wondering.

Do garbagemen shower before they go to work?


ooh ya. ya know the song Secret Garden by Bruce Springtein? the song from Jerry Mcguire.

there's the part where she says :

i love him for the man he almost is?


nothing funny or perculiar bout this. just that everytime i hear that part, i cringed. just tickles me somehow. hehe.

see. i'm super random.



psssst: i'm having a reallly strong urge of watching Battlestar Galactica and 24! yummy. 24 is soo fun. so's john doe. ok. must tahan for one month. TAHANNNN!!!!

hehe.
taaa

warning : stupid random pointless post

so, whilst eating my plain porridge which i tapau-ed with an added slightly overcooked egg thanks to the darned tiny jam. which appeared outtanowhere.

speaking of tapau-ed food. i havent eaten homecooked food for like ages already. and i end up eating it alone, infront of the comp. hehe well, for dinner usually la.

k. had my maths paper 1 today. shizzles. i don't know. it was ok. well, it was harder than all the past year papers. forgodknowswhatreason. apparently, my dad's friend said that the cambridge papers are gonna be extra high standard now. so everything's tougher. looks like it's for real.

after the exam i could hear like practically everyone talking bout aiyo, that question so this and that. shitt. i cannot prove and all that. oh the pressure is everywhere eventhough it's just the very beginning.

F*shit la. every time the syllabus or the exam style changes in my year. PMR SPM now A-Levels. pfffft.

the main thing i wanted to rant about is the fact that tomorrow for my chemistry practical exam. i'm in the 4th shift. the last shift. pffft. what's worse is that my quarantine time is from 11.45 till 2.55. n the exam ends at 4.30.. gahhhh. bad enough i'm "imprisoned" for bout 3 hours plus. worst is, quarantine venue is in MPH. the darned coldest place ever in college. and also, some people that i don't want to see will be at the same place. cheee

oh well. i'm off now. to try and study. hehe

i tend to wonder if what i'm doing is right?
or whether i should even be doing all this?
or why am i even bothered to do some of these things i do?


i wonder if it's worth it.
i wonder if that's the way it should be..
whether it'll turn out the way it is planned to.
whether i'm taking the right steps to all these things i'm doing.
whether it'll turn out fine. just like it is wanted.
i wonder why am i even wondering so much.

sigh.

i'm so not ready.

It has finally gotten to me.

For once in my entire life, i'm actually getting nervous and worried over an exam.
i've never been this nervous. my first hand experience of a nervous breakdown. well, not that i'm going through it, but since it's my first time feeling this, it seems like it.
AS finals starts this monday.
and i'm pretty sure i'm screwed. but..

just because;

i lay it all down to You. for nothing is to big or to small. nothing is impossible. nothing that You cannot handle.
and because i'm taking this step of faith, i'm pretty sure it'll turn out okay in the end.


shit. i told you it's getting to me.

this has got to be the worst year for me, academic wise.
what's worse is i'm slacking one million times more than i usually do.
the drive just isnt there anymore.
i'm having doubts over my choice. i should have really think it over before making the decision.


or maybe, i should just continue to strive, just work for it.
and just get done and over with it.

yup. that's right.