God does work in many interesting ways. Really.

Well, for those of you who managed to read what I had posted last month(which I've removed) bout the loving n feeling post.. I asked for God to help "soften" my heart and not being so emotionless. haha. And seriously, from the next day itself for 3 whole weeks, I've gotten some of those devotional readings, and also some topics that suddenly came out bout loving, compassion and those stuffs related. And a friend of mine, suddenly sent me a text message bout something related. Whom I didn't mention anything about and I'm pretty sure he doesn't read my blog. And certain incidents that allowed me to try. And even till now there are some here and there. See, God does really listen to you. And He only wants the best for you =) even when you've drifted away.

I realised something else. I think I have really trained myself to not appear emotional to the extent that today, I was on the verge of crying during some prayer thingi towards the ending of church service. Yet, get this. I somehow managed to stop myself. Well, I did tear a bit lah. enough to be noticed by the 2 ppl next to me but ya, I covered it up real well. HAHAHA. big time HAHA. gosh. I know, it's not good.
But, I rarely show emotions. I think mainly because I don't want to appear weak. Esp, crying and all. Seriously, ask around lah.

Come to think of it. I've only publicly cried twice, the flowing tears and mucus-ing (hehe) cry which were during leaders retreat last year and 2 years back in the AYA college cf thing at Taylor's. . And those also, due to God.
K lah, not inclusive of those crying in movies okayyy. Cos, usually ppl cant see.. hehe. That one I do tend to cry a lot. hehe

See, I think it's gotten really bad. But, well, I guess today could be counted as an improvement? hahaha. okay. nevermind. just trying to make myself happy abit =P

My gosh. I actually finally reached my 100th post two posts ago. (Including this one that is) haha after like, 2 years? Just shows how much I update or even write in this blog. Gosh, it's so pathetic sounding : P

I just realised that my 'P' license is expiring on the 5th. So fast. I can't believe it's been 2 years already and I can still clearly remember the day of my driving exam. I hope I'm able to renew it before it expires. I've no time wei. Or else, I've to find drivers. Wait, that doesn't sound so bad after all. I'll get to be chauffeured ; )

Ya know, my dad's so evil. He insisted I do the renewing tomorrow itself so that he doesn't get to be one of 'em "chauffeurs". Evil I tell you, evil. Pfft. Nvm, I've other resources. ahah

I got drenched wet in the rain today. Great, the rain decided to fall at the wrong timing. I was walking on the way to the car, which btw was parked quite far, it decided to just pour like that. Not a drizzle or anything. And I gladly decided to walk in the rain lah. No point in running or anything since I'd be soaked either way. And all my books n notes got WET.
But nonetheless, I really enjoyed just walking in the rain. There's something bout walking in the rain. It's like having a joyful stroll. Somehow, it brings back memories. Like when I was a kid or those schooling days. I'd just have fun in the rain.
Tho, the joy lasted for awhile only. Till I started sneezing away in the car. Sigh.

And, I've been pimple-lating lately. Gosh, it's so annoying. Okay, fine it's not exactly that bad comparatively. Just that for me, I rarely get pimples. So yeah..
And I've finally gotten dark circles. As in really visible ones. Previously, even when I didn't sleep for 2 days, I'd look normal. No eye bags or dark circles. Nada.. But now, with only a nearly consistent 4 hours of sleep. It's showing.. Pfffft... Haha.

But ya know what's funny. Yesterday I slept really long. for like 10 hours. Yes, I slept at 9-ish last night. haha.. Early. I know. And yet, I looked like I hadn't slept in days. The whole day in college I was having headache, kept yawning and my eyes felt like it was swollen. Must be an April Fools day thing. Pfft..

And then I've got an ultra huge painful ulcer at the tip of the bottom of my tongue. It hurts so much that I can't eat or drink without being in pain. And what's worse that the ulcer part touches my teeth when my mouth's closed. So, extra bummer. Infact, it hurts sometimes when I talk.

Lately, I've been having this feeling of wanting to go through isolation. Not to that extent maybe, but to really just cut down on the socialising. A huge amount that is. Infact, now I go online not with an intention to maybe chat, but just to show I'm 'alive' still. Because people apparently notice when I've not been online for a period of time. Sure, I do still chat here and there. But only to certain few people. Very minimal. Apart from that, I really don't wanna have anything to do with socialising. Don't ask me why. I'm just like that. It's not the first time.


Lastly, my love-hate relationship with the library is.. not going so well. Initially it was doing quite well. It was swell. Heck, now it's like I tak nak layan the library. Haha. Yes, I know this sounds like I'm treating the library like a boyfriend. Lol. But it really is a love-hate relationship. I gotta love the library when I absolutely dislike libraries. And what more I don't like the condition of the library in college. See, it relates to like a real relationship. Don't look at the outside, look at the inside. ahahaha. My gosh.

Exam's in May. And I'm barely anywhere near getting prepared.


And yes, I know my post is very disconnected. =/


Oh, and to you. I've decided to say goodbye to everything we had and have. It's just not worth the time and frustrations and confusions. So, if there's anything you want to say. Say it soon before I totally leave it behind. Time to start afresh with you.