A paradoxical oxymoron?

Sunday, April 20, 2008

God does work in many interesting ways. Really.

Well, for those of you who managed to read what I had posted last month(which I've removed) bout the loving n feeling post.. I asked for God to help "soften" my heart and not being so emotionless. haha. And seriously, from the next day itself for 3 whole weeks, I've gotten some of those devotional readings, and also some topics that suddenly came out bout loving, compassion and those stuffs related. And a friend of mine, suddenly sent me a text message bout something related. Whom I didn't mention anything about and I'm pretty sure he doesn't read my blog. And certain incidents that allowed me to try. And even till now there are some here and there. See, God does really listen to you. And He only wants the best for you =) even when you've drifted away.

I realised something else. I think I have really trained myself to not appear emotional to the extent that today, I was on the verge of crying during some prayer thingi towards the ending of church service. Yet, get this. I somehow managed to stop myself. Well, I did tear a bit lah. enough to be noticed by the 2 ppl next to me but ya, I covered it up real well. HAHAHA. big time HAHA. gosh. I know, it's not good.
But, I rarely show emotions. I think mainly because I don't want to appear weak. Esp, crying and all. Seriously, ask around lah.

Come to think of it. I've only publicly cried twice, the flowing tears and mucus-ing (hehe) cry which were during leaders retreat last year and 2 years back in the AYA college cf thing at Taylor's. . And those also, due to God.
K lah, not inclusive of those crying in movies okayyy. Cos, usually ppl cant see.. hehe. That one I do tend to cry a lot. hehe

See, I think it's gotten really bad. But, well, I guess today could be counted as an improvement? hahaha. okay. nevermind. just trying to make myself happy abit =P


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